“why follow your dreams when you can follow me?”

Sully – 2022

Linebacker visits Hoover Dam

It was 6:30 AM in Misti City. The sky was dark and cloudy, and a fine layer of misty covered the street. The dark shapes of skyscrapers cast huge shadows on the road. The foot-traffic was mild, only a couple of people rushing to work here and there. Heyme the Linebacker prowled the bus station, in full football gear.  A long black duffel bag, which was shaped suspiciously like a human body, was propped against the metal waiting bench. Out of the morning haze emerged a huge, grey bus. Linebacker’s yellow headlamp eyes caught the moving object, and he jumped right into the middle of the road. “Stop!” he bellowed. After grabbing the duffel bag, Linebacker rushed onto the bus. He handed the bus driver his ticket. “Hey! This is a fake!” protested the bus driver, Billio, holding up the slip of paper that Linebacker had made himself. Linebacker’s yellow eyes focused on the driver, and Billio shut his mouth.

Three hours later, the Greyhound bus stopped. The engine was smoking. “Everybody off!” shouted Billio, the bus driver. “Why are we stopping?” Linebacker snarled. Billio pointing at the smoking bus hood. “Engine broke. If you’re so impatient, why don’t you walk the rest of the way?” Linebacker jumped off the bus, his duffel bag in tow. “Fine! I will”. Linebacker revved up his engines with a mighty “line. Line. LLine. LLIINEBACKER!” and shot off toward the Hoover Dam, just fifteen miles away.

Fifteen miles later, Linebacker skidded to a stop, right  at the entrance to the bridge that spanned the dam. The attraction wasn’t open to tourist until 9am, so Linebacker had plenty of time to dispose of the body before any witnesses saw. With a great heave, Linebacker prepared to throw the body bag over the road and into the reservoir. Linebacker threw, but one of the duffel straps caught onto his buff arm. Linebacker screamed as he was pulled over the ledge with the bag. Air whizzed past Linebackers football helmet as he freefell toward the rapidly approaching lake. Linebacker braced his shoulders for impact. When he hit the water, there was a colossal WHUMP. Linebacker sunk to the bottom of the sandy banks of the river. Linebacker was standing right in front of a huge concrete wall. A smile spread across Linebackers. Nothing had ever stood in his way before, and it was going to stay that way. Linebacker dug his iron cleats into the river floor and revved up. “line. Line LLINE, LINEBACKER!” He shot forward like a bullet and slammed into the dam walls. There was a trembling sound as a huge crack spread up the side of Hoover Dam. Linebacker backed up again and slammed into the dam again.

This time the whole dam shattered like glass. The thousands of tons of water that Hoover Dam had been holding back rushed into Heyme like a Tsunami. Then, the concrete debris and rock chunks from the dam came raining down. Linebacker tried his best to dodge, but one can only do so much at the bottom of a river. After the dust and water had settled, Linebacker was nowhere to be seen. He was buried at the bottom of a river, covered with a hundred tons of concrete rubble. Linebacker did not survive.

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