“why follow your dreams when you can follow me?”

Sully – 2022

Nani?

                The Anime Watcher looked up from his 4k screen. Heyme’s red eyes were bulging with huge veins. Processing the intense anime fight scenes took quite a bit of processing power. Heyme was blasting the theme song to Bleach with his mega-speakers. Anyone walking past his hut under the bridge would slowly wither to the floor as their eardrums collapsed from the sheer volume.

                Heyme crowed as his hero, Itchy, defeated one wave of monsters. “You can do this!!!” Heyme grabbed his stuffed teddy bear and chomped down on its head, which had been reduced to a couple of wet, mangy strings. Heyme screamed in agony and curled up on the concrete as Itchy was hit by a barrage of spiders. They bit into his flesh and burrowed under. Heyme shrieked again.

                Heyme felt every single touch of from his anime. If Itchy was punched in the face, Heyme would fly backwards. If Itchy defeated all of the monsters, Heyme was feel like he had done so himself.

                “Ku-saw! Nani Sinda?” Heyme screamed, still writhing on the floor. Like any other Anime Watcher, Heyme thought he could speak fluent Japanese. Itchy slowly got to his feet, having survived the spiders. Heyme wiped the tears off of his face and got up.

                “Eh eh! Watashi wa anata spider-u!” Heyme cried.

                Suddenly, from the bridge overpass, a dark form landed in front of Heyme. Heyme’s bulging head snapped instantly to the form. “Nani?”

                There was a small gunshot, and Heyme looked down in surprise. There was a bloody stain on the front of his ratty gray shirt. The form stepped out from the shadows. It was a Japanese man, wearing a hat on his head. He was holding up a pistol in his hands. “You think you can mock us and get away with it?” He asked.      

                Heyme looked up on him. “Nani?” he repeated.

                The man’s eyes turned dark and tiny.  “Say it again, I dare you.”

                “Ku-saw! Nani! Baga! Wata—” Heyme’s fake Japanese accent was cut off suddenly. He looked down, another blood stain was blossoming on his shirt. Heyme collapsed to the ground, a victim of his own stupidity.

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