“why follow your dreams when you can follow me?”

Sully – 2022


Billio was a squat 8-year-old boy with a spotless bald head. He was a nasty, disturbing little child who loved to eat raw hot dogs with peanut butter. His parents, Shirley and Bobley were just as disgusting as their single child. They enjoyed stuffing their gullets with banana peels and raw eggs. The Hurktutle family resided in the empty town of Krankfurt, Kentucky. Billio’s neighbors always complained of loud crashing, bashing, and whacking sounds coming from the Hurktutle’s family home, but were too terrified of the wild family to investigate further.

One stormy night, while all other houses in the neighborhood were dark, inside the Hurktutle residence was lit up like a stadium. A mysterious purple light emanated from all of the windows, and the house seemed to glow with energy. On that same night, poor ol’ Jiminy, a young UPS delivery driver who was paid 5 cents below minimum wage, was scheduled for a midnight delivery at 3602 Bashkore Drive. Jiminy was eager to go home, so was driving like a rambunctious monkey on the way to a banana store. He was the stereotypical teenager, with long greasy straight hair that hung like a curtain, face riddled with crates like the moon, and baggy jeans and shirt. The UPS van skidded down Bashkore drive, leaving tire marks on the wet pavement. He was bobbing his head, airpods blasting a trap beat into his brain at a ridiculously loud volume. The van screeched into the strip of grass that the Hurktutle family called their front yard. The delivery van collided with the mailbox, which was a gargoyle, and Jiminy stumbled out, disoriented by the crash. He was holding a strangely shaped package, which looked suspiciously like a medieval axe. Jiminy noticed the purple light emanating from the windows and hesitated before knocking on the front door. The ancient wooden door swung open by itself, and Jiminy stumbled back as he saw inside. The Hurktutle family were wearing strange costumes and were performing some kind of ritual around a circle drawn with, was that…. blood? Billio looked up as the door opened. “Yes! Mother! The package arrives!” he growled with a deep voice unlike any other 8-year-old. Everyone looked up and the purple light glowed brighter. Jiminy stumbled back. “Wait I have your package!” Billio scuttled over and ripped the package from Jiminy’s grasp. “Lay in the circle!” He rumbled. Jiminy sobbed into his hands. He was too young to be die! Billio ended up dragging Jiminy into the circle. The song continued once more. Jiminy was curled into a ball as the Hurktutle family sacrificed him.

The End.

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