“why follow your dreams when you can follow me?”

Sully – 2022

A reintroduction of Sensei Shihan

Sensei Shihan was a vicious, short, stub of a man. He had a single strand of greasy short hair, a face that was almost always red, and a dirty karate uniform, also known as Gi. He was known to many as a black belt in Karate, a true master of his craft, but to his many wary and knowing students, he was a cheat, a swindler, and a blackmailer. He didn’t truly know Karate but treated it a toy. Sensei Shihan taught classes at the local gym in Trujillo Alto, Puerto Rico, charging $89.99 an hour. It was an impressive figure from far, and if a student couldn’t cough up the cash (who could), Sensei Shihan would post photos of said student doing embarrassing stretch poses online. That was the blackmailing side of Sensei Shihan. Every evening, Sensei Shihan would start class. He had monopolized the free, community gym, taking it over every Tuesday, which is when classes were held. Anyone inside who wasn’t a student would get a taste of Sensei Shihan’s famed taser, something he had purchased online, thanks to the generous salary of his students, as if they had any choice. He would threaten them with the electrical toy if a student got a karate pose wrong, grumbled at all, or even breathed in the wrong direction. Each class lasted from 5pm to 9, and if anyone needed to use the bathroom, the terrible “karate” instructor would give them dirty looks. Sensei Shihan never did any of the assigned exercises himself, no no. The dastardly instructor relied on his students’ dull minds to keep them occupied.

Once the first hour was complete, Sensei Shihan would move onto the second phase of his class, poses. He would have each student, about 30 in all, stand completely still in the most ridiculous stances. Every time someone acted up, like using the bathroom too many times in a single class, Sensei Shihan would have them stand in The Corner. The Corner was a punishment designed by Sensei Shihan himself, created to further dull the minds of his students. It was literally a corner in the gymnasium walls, that Sensei Shihan would send his students. When someone was sentenced to The Corner, they would have to squat, facing the corner of The Corner for 4 hours straight.  It was a torturous class, but no one could leave because of the sheer amount of leverage Sensei Shihan had over them.

Meet Jigglin’ Jigilian, a rotund 10-year-old girl whose favorite food are jellybeans. Jigglin’ was the unluckiest student out of everyone, as she was the one who was almost always sentenced to The Corner.

Leano the black-bottomed Beano was quite the figure, with his famous white pants with their famous black bottom, caused from sitting on the dirty gym floor for hours upon end.

Jigglin’ Jigilian and Leano were the most prominent figures the karate class. They were the only ones who actually respected the oppressive rule of the tyrannical Sensei Shihan.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: