“why follow your dreams when you can follow me?”

Sully – 2022

Maleb Caddix and his Scam

Maleb’s eyes bugged out as he raised the phone to capture a video of himself. He took a deep breath, and then shouted:

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHAT’S UP MALEB ADDICTS, AND WELCOME TO NADA SUCCESS, WHERE I, MALEB, TEACH YOU HOW TO BECOME THE MOST SUCCESSFUL PERSON YOU CAN EVER BE!”

Maleb’s left arm, which was not holding the phone, was waving around wildly, gesturing at people who were passing by, and his over enthusiasm was all being captured for his course, Nada Success. Maleb was an entrepreneur at the age of 3, when he started selling pencil scribbles on paper for over 50 dollars to his grandparents, uncles, and aunts. Of course, they couldn’t say no to a three-year-old, so they spent their valuable money, which could be used on literally anything else, on this scamming, overpriced child. Maleb pulled in almost 5 grand before his father, Madt, discovered the swindling going on, and put a stop to it, but it was too late. Maleb had enough money to start a business.

Before long, Maleb had created a youtube channel and hired some poor schmuck online to create a website for him, MalebCaddixWuzHere.com, because MalebCaddix was taken. Maleb’s clickbait videos deterred almost everyone who was about to watch them, so he resorted to creating a course on his website. NADA SUCCESS was all about Maleb’s success, not the customers. Before making the first video for the course, he binge-watched a short 5-minute success documentary on Wikipedia. The first video went halfway viral because of just the scam-like presence of the now turned 7-year-old. In every course video, Maleb would do the same intro, and then get into the video where he stole quotes from actual successful people and turn them into a “Maleb Quote”, as he like to call them.

Take this one for example:

“When I get rich and famous, I’ll name my children Money and Monéy”

Maleb was a greedy child, but being selfish enough to name his own children after a physical substance that exists only as a currency was too much. If Maleb gave his students, mostly young, susceptible children, advice to become rich, they would become rich and not need his course anymore. The trick was a balance between keeping them poor, but not poor enough that they couldn’t pay for his course. Maleb charged his course by the second, around $5 per second in fact, so keeping the video as long as possible was the best for making more money. Back to the present.

“WOOO! WELCOME TO EPISODE 30 OF NADA SUCCESS! TODAY I’LL BE SHOWING YOU HOW MUCH MONEY I MAKE FROM YOU GUYS!”

Maleb now set the camera up on his desk as he jumped into a pool full of $100 bills. Maleb’s “Course” now consisted of his primarily showing off his expensive sets of shoes, dollar bills, and fake cars. He spent as much money as he could make, making a total of about 1 grand every single video he posted.

To be continued in episode 2

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