“why follow your dreams when you can follow me?”

Sully – 2022

The true story of Juan’s Dingle

Juan was a normal 17-year-old. He had a small afro, lived with his parents in the city, and loved playing Fortnite. As an urbanite, Juan took the bus to school, instead of clogging up the highway with a car. He was, indeed, a good man.

It was one Tuesday, that events changed Juan’s life forever.

Juan woke up in a sweat. He had just had the most terrible dream, that he had turned into a Minecraft villager. He rolled out of his blanket onto the floor, and executed 30 perfect pushups, even though he had just woken up. Working out was Juan’s way of relaxing himself. It was a stress reliever for him, and he enjoyed the pain.

Juan looked at the alarm clock. He was 9 minutes late to school! Juan quickly looked down at his pajamas, which included a tank-top three sizes too small and shorts four sizes too big. Shrugging, he sped downstairs, gulped three cups of milk along with a spoonful of stale cheerios, curtesy of his cat who had, the day before, pawed the bag open. He stuffed his notebook and algebra textbook into his backpack on the kitchen counter, and then, forgetting he had brushed his teeth, rushed back to the upstairs bathroom. After brushing his teeth, he rushed out the door in such a rush, his backpack was left neglected on the countertop.

The school bus never went to Juan’s side of the street for some reason, and when he saw it pass on the other side, he cursed inwardly. He would have to take the city bus, which was quieter and more peaceful than the school bus.

Juan ran down three blocks of apartments, where people were taking out their dogs for walks and preparing for their day. He arrived at the bus station, out of breath, and reached for his backpack for his water bottle, and his hand came up on empty air. “SHIMINA!” He cursed to the world, realized that he had also forgotten his backpack. Whatever, his teachers would understand. Right?

The 23-bus to 50th avenue, where Juan’s school was, pulled up to the station, and Juan leaped onboard. The bus driver, a woman with short red hair and a nose ring, shook her head. “You gotta pay to ride the bus, muchacho!”

Juan pleaded. “Come on miss. I’m having a really bad time right now. I’m late to school, I forgot my backpack, I’m dressed in my pajamas, and I’m 90% sure that I brushed my teeth with hair dye. Can you let this pass?”

Shwona, the bus driver, considered it. “What’s your name?”

“My name is Juan”. Juan choked, pretty sure it was something he swallowed while brushing his teeth, but what came out was “My name is Quan”.

Swhona laughed mercilessly.  “Get off my bus, Quan!”

Juan looked back at the passengers, asking silently for someone to stand up to him, but when nobody did, he shook his head in resignment and stepped off the bus. He turned back to call the lady an Ongo, but as he did, the bus doors snapped shut. Right onto Juan’s nose. Juan let out an ear-piercing shriek as the bus pulled away, taking his nose with it. The poor thing was stretched to almost 3 feet before the bus stopped and the passengers looked through the window to see what had happened. What they saw before their eyes was a sight never to be unseen. A young man with a 2-foot nose, hanging down like a Minecraft villager. Juan’s nightmare had come true.

A child on the bus started cackled evily and called out

“Lookit Quan’s Dingle!”

Soon, the bus began chanting “Quandale Dingle”, and some tiktoker took a photo.

Juan became an international meme all over the world.

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